Originally posted 8/9/11…

Let’s face it, most guys are measuring loyalties and memorizing team stats by the age of five. I grew up playing sports, I have three older brothers, and I was a complete tomboy. Yet I still have no desire to know what David Ortiz’s batting average is or the QB rating for Aaron Rodgers. I’m not implying that these are the most significant things that happened in the past week, just a few things to talk about…

  • Adam Scott wins the WGC – Bridgestone golf tournament. First off all, who doesn’t love a guy with two first names? Second, this is a big deal is because Adam Scott’s caddie is Steve Williams, the guy Tiger Woods abruptly fired last month. Also a big deal is the fact that this tournament was Tiger Woods’ return to golf after a long break. End result: Tiger sucked (for Tiger), Steve Williams coached Adam Scott to a win, and now everyone is mad because the media focused on the Tiger/Williams caddie drama rather than how Aussie Adam Scott actually played & won. Sidebar: There is a section on ESPN.com called “Tracking Tiger” – insert eyeball roll.
  • Football season is gearing up. NFL Pre-season games start soon & the real-deal games start Sept 8th.  There was a lockout this summer as team owners & players couldn’t agree on…something. Something important that has to do with lots of money. And fans. It’s confusing but I swear, if you mention anything about the NFL Lockout to your man, you’re golden…any guy will be impressed that you know this. Specific point of interest NFL-land: Chad “OchoCinco” (yes, he legally changed his last name to “Eighty-five” in Spanish in 2008) is now playing for the New England Patriots. He’s exciting to watch & will be scoring lots of runs. Just kidding – it’s touchdowns. Pay attention!
  •  Skateboarders are insane, in the best way. I’m going back a few weeks to the Summer X-Games 2012 (July 28-31). You’ve simply got to watch this 16 year old kid Nyjah Huston win the “Skateboard Street” finals. If you don’t find this impressive, then I challenge you to stand on a skateboard in a parking lot. That’s all. Just stand on it. Then, jump. Yep, only using your feet. Yep, make the wheels leave the ground while your feet are still on the deck (that’s shop talk for the wooden part of the skateboard). You get the idea. I can’t do it either. So now check out this amazing, disciplined 16 year old kid:  http://espn.go.com/action/xgames/summer/2011/story/_/id/6819385/huston-heads-street-league-championship-roll
  •  The Red Sox beat the NY Yankees 3-2 Sunday night. Exciting! Why? Because this is a classic rivalry, because this means the Red Sox are now leading the “AL East” (get to that later), because BOSTON IS AWESOME. Ok, so I may have some (a lot) of family in Boston. My folks are from Boston. I heart Boston. I pull for the Red Sox because my Mom used to go to the games with her girlfriend Priscilla when Ted Williams played. Because I’ve sat in the front row on the Green Monster with Peter Gammons behind me. Because Fenway Park is the oldest baseball park currently in use. This is how it goes with sports. I couldn’t tell you any stats about the teams this year other than they’re doing well, but gosh darn it, I’m a Red Sox fan.
  •  And finally, a cool & crazy international story. There is a professional soccer team, Real Madrid, who just signed a 7 year old kid. As in, signed a contract. What in the bend-it-like-beckham is going on? What if the kid doesn’t deliver? He’s a super cute and apparently has been pulled out of poverty for this so that’s good. But man, talk about pressure for a little guy. This is a prime example of how little we Americans (ok, how little I know) know about soccer (I mean futbol). Apparently signing kids to soccer teams isn’t a big deal in Europe. He is joining their youth academy. Happens all the time. He was even being pursued by another team – jeez! Impressive…I think?

Remember, when your dude wants to know where you got all these extremely intelligent & valuable facts, your answer is, “I Read it Somewhere…” (Because he will likely think this column is douchey).

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